Given the growing concerns about the existence and proliferation of anger and hate, I would like to share how hate begins and how hate gets nurtured in the mind. What I am about to share is absolutely nothing new and has been known by many for centuries. However, most of us are not taught about it. And unless you find someone who shows you this or you get lucky and happen to stumble upon it yourself; in your ignorance, you will contribute to the problem by sowing the seeds of hate in your own mind. I feel that my contribution to these unsettling times is to share these simple truths that can help us heal.
The other day I saw a video on Facebook of a television personality, that I did not recognize, giving a rant about who was to blame for Donald Trump being elected president. I saw the video on my Facebook feed because someone I know ‘liked’ it. This is the quick fire way that so many ideas are being shared and then nurtured on the internet. This rant clearly showed this man’s outrage, frustration and upset about the current reality.
His is not an unusual reaction. It is resonating with many and his solution feels better to most people than what appears to be the only other alternative, which is despair. We tend to believe that our only options are to fight back or fall down.
But, unfortunately, both of these answers are destructive and will sow the seeds of the next generation of hate. Let me show you how that works.
If you despair, you will be in darkness which effectively cuts you off from the light of your Being-ness, the loving force that can bring healing and transformation. You will be lost and your powerful presence will not be available to the world.
If you fight back, you will start looking for a cause that you can do something about. Something or someone you can fix. In the video that I saw this person found the blame in those who were unwilling to engage in dialogue with each other in order to solve our world’s problems. That even sounds pretty reasonable. But it is a sneaky way for the mind to find a more acceptable way to hate. Here is how it works.
You decide that what we need is more dialogue. You have found the answer to making the world safe. You start to like and approve of those who engage in dialogue. You also see that there are others that are not engaging in dialogue. Those people need to get on board. After all, your safety, the world’s safety depends on it. You see their non-engagement and a little fear sparks in your mind. This is how the mind tells you that you are in danger. You told it what to look for (those who do not engage in dialogue) and there it is. You are in danger.
At first, you dismiss that little stirring of anxiety and tell yourself it is going to be fine. I will just point out to these people the error of their ways. I will convince them that they need to engage in dialogue. The world depends on it after all. So you let them know that what they are doing is wrong. It is causing the world’s problems. You offer to show them the right path. But they have their own ideas about what will save the world and are not interested in your plan. They aren’t listening to you.
You get increasingly frustrated because you are not able to get other people in line. So you double down on your efforts. Your voice gets louder and more insistent. Your language changes to more judgmental and even abusive language as you try to be heard. This is important! This is necessary!! My safety, THE WORLD’S SAFETY IS AT STAKE!!!!
When this doesn’t work, you are tempted by despair again. Those people are so ignorant and blind. Why can’t they see what I see?! Why won’t they listen?!! They have their head’s in the sand. The are so stupid!!! SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!!!
So you throw up your hands and you turn away from them. You turn your back on them. Your anger is boiling now. And this anger hurts you. It hurts because you have turned away from the light within you. You have turned away from your fellow man and ultimately from yourself. But you don’t know that is why you are suffering.
You think you are suffering because of those damned people who would not engage in dialogue. And now they should pay for their crime. You have accepted and nurtured the seeds of hate and now you have become the hater.
If you did not vote for Donald Trump because he was a hater, please don’t become one now. Don’t look for the cause, don’t find someone to blame, don’t try to fix other people. Just love one another and then you will be free from the hate.